I don't even know where to begin. Maybe the beginning, our beginning......... A little over 17 years ago in 2000 I met Big Daddy at a graduation party for my cousin. (They went to the same high school) I was only 15. I went on to see him again at a street fair. He was just the hottest guy I'd ever seen in my life. He was so funny always saying such smart ass comments. My heart was gone! I asked my cousin to get his pager number, Oh God, we are old can you believe a pager. I asked Big Daddy if he wanted to go to the movies. That's right I am woman hear me roar. He later told me that he was going to say no because he thought I was still 15, phew for my birthday, he was already 18. Our first date was great he met my parents and realized that at the same graduation party we met he hit on my mom. Then when I met his Dad he was in his underwear. Completely normal, right? This all sets the tone for our relationship. Really we had the normal teenage puppy love. From the very beginning we leaned on each other and supported each other, I knew this was meant to be he was my person, he is the calm to my storm.
We dated for 7 years before we were married and even lived together and bought a house. He was always my rock during my depression and strength when we had to bury both of my grandfathers a year apart. We should have known that our marriage would be nothing less than crazy when just 2 months before our wedding after a year and a half engagement we found out we were expecting. Absolutely nothing in this marriage has gone according to plan! Well I guess God's plan but defiantly not ours.
The things that happened in just the first couple years of our lives together we had to deal with what most people either never have to or very rarely. We decided that I would stay home and take care of the baby. When JPG3 was about 1 year old Big Daddy was laid off, we lost our home and was just about homeless. (Not really we could have moved in with my mom) It was stressful and yet we made it work. We always make it work. Not sure if it was a blessing or a curse but Big Daddy's car got hit a drunk lady while it was sitting in our driveway we took the money from his totaled car and borrowed $1000 from the best sister in law in the world. We bought our next house in cash. It needed tons of work but it was ours. Life always seems to happen for us like that. We will think that we are at our lowest point and we are not sure how we are going to make it and something ridiculous happens to make sure we just skate by or dig out of wherever life has buried us under.
Almost 4 years ago I wasn't so sure we were going to make it out of that hole. Life was hard we were already in that dreaded 7th year of marriage. Then #1, Big Daddy's Father, got sick. It was one minute he was fine and the next cancer was everywhere. In 2 short months #1 was gone. It was and still is hard. There was so much that coincided with his sickness and death. We were not on the same page. He pushed me away and there was nothing I could do for him, nothing I could say that could take away his pain. Big Daddy and #1 were the best of friends. That's what happens when it was just the 2 of them for so long.
I thought it was going to end our marriage. I thought I was just going to be another 30 year old divorcee. We lived for a while not really even liking each other. Loving, absolutely but not liking. We decided that we needed time for just us. We started going on little get-a-ways together just tolerating each other. We worked hard, really really really hard to become the team we used to be. We remembered why we were together and the things that are amazing in our own relationship.
Marriage is not easy, its nasty, its mean, its forgivable, its understanding and its really hard fucking work. The favorite part about my marriage in how much we laugh. We laugh through the tears. We laugh together and at each other. I am looking forward to the next 50 years or more full big belly laughs and just working really hard to make sure I can spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams, even when he's an asshole and its more like a nightmare!
I hope that everyone finds their person. The one that they are willing to fight for, the one they are willing to work for, and the one they can laugh with. Laugh long and laugh hard!